That night I masturbated myself to sleep (as I dopretty much every night) and decided that the next time that I cumwould be as a girl.Since I placed the order on a Tuesday night I was expecting the packageto arrive on Wednesday a week later. The first couple of days went byfairly uneventfully and then the weekend hit me. I started to go crazyfor some relief so I had to occupy myself with chores and errands tokeep myself from giving in. The house looked great! Then came thefollowing week. At least I had work to keep me busy for most of thetime and I even decided to do some late night work to help reduce thetime that I had at home to break down and spill the beans (so tospeak). WednesdayI got up early that morning having hardly slept the night before andwent to check my post box. Sure enough, there was a collection note. Myheart jumped out of my chest and I could feel my body shaking like Ihad just jumped off a high cliff into a lagoon far below. Since it wasonly 06:10 and the Post. The list of complaints was endless. Native Americans, anti-immigration groups, and pro-immigration groups began arguing about the melting pot and whether I was a racist - somebody took the comment about ‘ Heaven only knows what our kids will end up dragging home someday!’ as somehow insensitive and racist. Mothers Against Drunk Driving complained about underage drinking (“It wasn’t underage in 1974.” - that went nowhere!) Donald Wildmon, a preacher who ran a ‘family values’ group complained about my lewd and lascivious behavior and ran down fraternities as houses full of drunken hooligans! (Ari’s response? “I asked the President about that, and he told me that was why he joined!”) Drug companies were complaining that since I wasn’t an expert in psychology, I obviously didn’t know how wonderful their pills were. It seemed as if I had spent the entire two hours offending the entire nation.Meanwhile, the late-night comics had been granted a gift from the gods! On the Daily Show, Jon.
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